Letter to George Clooney

Dear George,

I’m sorry to hear that you and Sarah broke up. I really am. But part of me is happy about this. Because now, you have a chance to date me. Why? Well, here’s why…

  1. I’m smart, really really smart.
  2. Gorgeous. You’ll have to see for yourself to believe me.
  3. Have no interest in acting, so you don’t have to worry about my career overshadowing yours.
  4. I’m really into politics and I know what I’m talking about. I know you’re into that and you know what you’re talking about.
  5. I have never competed in a reality show or swallowed a scorpion.
  6. I have a great sense of humor, and from what I hear so do you.
  7. I’m a great cook. Just ask my friends. They keep coming back for more… food I mean. (And don’t worry, my skills extend to other rooms of the house. I just don’t want to get too detailed because my mom reads this blog.)
  8. Marriage is not on top of my agenda. In fact, one bad marriage was enough for me too. So as much as my mother might freak out reading this on my blog, I just want you to know that I will not pressure you about marrying me. At least not for 3-5 years. But after that, you’ll be begging me to marry you and I’ll be playing hard to get.
  9. You are one of the few over 40 men I will make an exception for. The other is Johnny Depp but he’s practically married and he has two kids. That’s double no-no in my book.
  10. Did I mention I’m gorgeous, smart and can cook? I think I did, but I figure it’s worth another mention.

So anyway, if you’re reading this and sound interested, email me. It’s elizainhollywood at gmail dot com. I look forward to hearing from you.

~ Eliza


  1. If this works, I want dibs on the book rights.
    I don’t write books; but, I’d learn to cash-in on this one.

    Good luck!

    P.S. Dear George: I can second Eliza on most of her points. (I haven’t been privy to all she offers; but based on the rest, it’s a fair bet she’s as good as advertised.)

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