I took a little hiatus from documenting my dating horror stories. Partly because I had a busy summer/fall. I was having a really great time dating someone for two whole months, although I like to count my dating days in dog years, just to make them seem longer. Then I went to Armenia to visit relatives with a brief stopover in Paris. Had a great time. Came back from an amazing trip and shortly after my 2-month relationship came to an abrupt end. I wish I had a good story behind this but I don’t. It was just the classic case of “he’s just not that into you.” But hey, at least I didn’t get dumped on my birthday. Although, interestingly enough we ended things a day after HIS birthday.
A few weeks after my brief romance came to an end I met a vampire. I was out with a group of friends on Halloween, at the undesirable section of LA, past my 5 mile radius and west of La Brea. I had no intention of going out. Between travels, breakups and job interviews, I hadn’t had a chance to think about Halloween. But my friend Liz inspired me to join her crew for a pub crawl and I ended up on the west side, in my zombie ballerina finest, getting my drink on somewhere on Main Street, in Santa Monica.
Sometime after the 3rd glass of wine and the 1st vodka soda I started chatting up with a vampire. I was slightly nervous about running into the-boy-who-wasn’t-into-me at some point during the night – since we share a social circle – so drinks were going down slightly faster than the usual pace. I must have been really buzzed because 1) I thought the vampire was good looking and 2) didn’t notice that he had a slight case of esotropia.
And there I was, flirting with a vampire, giving my real phone number (not my google #) and agreeing to a date.
A few days after, we went out to dinner.
- The vampire came to pick me up for our date and he brought a single red rose. Too much pressure dude!
- In my sober state, I realized that I had very little chemistry with the vampire. He wasn’t exactly Edward or Louis. He was more… Dracula, circa Bela Lugosi.
- We had very little to talk about…
- And he kept staring at me like he was “this” close to biting my neck and draining my blood.
But he was nice and I tried to make the best of it, knowing that there wasn’t going to be a second date.
Then he texted right after the date… “Had a great time. Same time tomorrow.”
I didn’t respond.
Then another text the following day. “Good luck today.”
I didn’t respond.
Then a phone call at 10 a.m. the following day.
It was time to respond, but I was at work and didn’t answer my phone. Instead, I texted.
Zombie Ballerina: “I had a nice time, I just think there is something missing.”
Vampire: Will u give it another chance
Zombie Ballerina: “I just don’t think we have enough in common to sustain a conversation.”
Vampire: Really? Wow ok. I suppose I was a bit quiet. I was just feeling u and was feeling good about the energy. I also find u very attractive
Vampire: U r very beautiful
Vampire: How about we see what it’s like being intimate with each other and go from there
Zombie Ballerina: “I’m sorry. I’m just not interested”
Vampire: Ok. Well I wish u the best. U really seem like a great girl
And there you have it. Another episode of “dating in LA.” Hey, at least I didn’t end up at the Cheesecake Factory.