I’ve been meaning to write this list for a while. There are all these random things that bother me and I’ve been wanting to put all these items in one place. So here’s the list, in no particular order.
- Men who think it’s acceptable to ask a woman out by text messaging. I know this is acceptable for certain age groups — by this I mean under 25 — but I feel that guys should make a little more effort. I gave my number to a guy I met online and he keeps texting me to ask if I want to meet for a drink. First, he texted on Friday, to see if I want to meet up Friday evening. It’s a FRIDAY NIGHT!!! Even if I didn’t have plans, I would NOT go out with you on a Friday night. Then, he texted me Saturday night, to see if I want to meet up for drinks. Seriously? Do you really think if you text me at 6pm on a Saturday evening, there’s a chance you might see me? And today, he texted me for drinks on Tuesday night. Needless to say he doesn’t stand a chance. He obviously doesn’t know about the guy before him that ruined it for other guys to have a date on a Tuesday night. So I finally texted him back and said, “I’d love to meet up for drinks sometime but I really need some advance notice and a phone call to make a date.” Seriously… how lazy can you get? You already have the number, how about you use it to call.
- Ugg boots. I live in LA and I see a lot of girls wearing uggs in the summer time. I know they’re comfy, but there are plenty of other comfortable shoes to choose from. There’s no reason to wear Uggs when it’s 70+ degrees out here on a “cold” day.
- Logos. I don’t like logos period. Why would you pay for something and provide free advertising space on your body. I don’t care if it’s the designer bag or clothing item. I can’t stand the Louis Vuitton logos plastered all over the bag. What’s the point? Is it just that you want everyone to know how much you spent on the bag? And don’t get me started on certain t-shirts with the brand name plastered all over the chest. C’mon people, you already paid for the item. Why are you providing free advertising space on your chest for the designer?
- Bad drivers. Here’s what I hate… when someone turns into your lane really fast and then decides to slow down to 20 miles in a 35 zone. Or, when cars decide to block an intersection instead of stopping, and letting a car make a left turn.
- Paris Hilton. She has always annoyed me, but now she annoys me even more by dating Benji Madden. It’s a little creepy. As if she wants to steal Nicole’s spotlight. It’s like Nicole got the cuter Madden twin and Paris had to settle for sloppy seconds.
- Women who say, “I’m not a feminist, but…” Really? What’s wrong with being a feminist? Do you want to go back to the days when the only two career options were secretary and a teacher? Or do you want to go back to the days when you were making 50 cents for every dollar a man makes (as oppose to 70 cents). Do you miss the days of back-alley abortions? Or do you want to go back to the days when you didn’t have the right to vote because someone had decided that having a vagina disqualified you from voting. Oh wait… you’ve never had to deal with these issues. That’s because generations of women before you fought for these rights.
- Women who wear makeup to the gym. I don’t understand why any woman would wear mascara to the gym. I’m not talking about makeup that’s leftover at the end of the day. I’m talking about full on, fresh makeup in the morning, on the cardio machine. And the funny thing is that at my gym most guys are not paying attention to ANY of the girls at the gym. Seriously… no amount of makeup is going to help you, unless he’s into drag queens, but even then… it’s the gym.
- The Bachelor. I find it really sad when women compete with each other, badmouth each other, and put each other down, to get a guy. I did think it was funny when I got an email on myspace from a casting director for the Bachelor asking me if I wanted to audition for it.
- Political endorsements from Reality TV cast members (let’s stop calling these people stars). I found it hilarious when airhead Heidi endorsed John McCain. What was even funnier was that McCain actually responded to this endorsement and referred to Heidi as a talented actress. That’s like saying Saddam Hussein was behind 9/11. Oh never mind…
- People who claim they’re vegetarians, but they say they eat fish. I’ve got news for you, fish doesn’t grow on trees. So don’t claim you’re vegetarian if you eat fish.
- Passive-aggressive personalities. No need to say more…
- The question… “Why are you single?” It’s such a backhanded compliment. It sort of implies that something must be wrong with you that’s not evident. Otherwise, why would you be single?
- Skinny jeans. I’m ready for this trend to go away. I love jeans, but I’ll never be able to pull off skinny jeans. And if the denim industry knows what’s good for them, they’ll stop making these jeans. They should know that they’ve lost a lot of revenue by making jeans that don’t look good on me. (Skinny jeans don’t look good on women with curves. Although, miraculously, Beyonce and J.Lo seem to pull it off.) I’m scratching this because I tried on a pair of skinny jeans and they actually look good on me. I no longer hate skinny jeans. In fact, I’m decided to embrace it and show off the booty. And considering the reaction I received in skinny jeans, in Inglewood (black men love the booty, white girls with booty appreciate this), I think I looked pretty damn good. Yay for skinny jeans.
That’s it for now. I reserve the right to update this list.
Absolutely hilarious. This list rocks!!! Caro’s fav was #10. Keep it up.
Aaaw. Thanks Brother Tito. And thanks for your continuing to the read my blog. You shall be rewarded with a non-vegetarian meal when you return from Mexico. Say hi to Caro.