I am so over it… I’m tired of the endless first dates and answering the same questions over and over again.  I should just write a manual and hand it over to the person before the first date and say “Here, read it and don’t ask me any of these questions.”  I feel like I’ve been answering the same questions over and over again for the past 13+ years. So here are the answers to some of the most frequently asked questions.

1. Where are you from? I get this the minute someone detects my slight accent — which gets a lot more noticeable the more I drink. For anyone else, this is a question about which city/state are you from. When I get asked this question it’s because they want to know which South American country I’m from. Well, I’m Armenian. From Armenia. I know you thought I’m Latina. I’m sorry to disappoint you. No I don’t speak Spanish. But I do speak Armenian, Russian and English.
2. Where is Armenia? I think I’ve covered this in a previous post. But if we have already had a prior conversation and I’ve told you that I’m Armenian, don’t ask me during the date where it is. It takes two seconds to Google it. If you know I’m Armenian and ask me where it is, you are already off on a wrong foot and the date is going downhill from there. No amount of sushi or vodka is going to salvage it.
3. Siblings? Yes. One brother – from the same set of parents. But I also have two more half siblings from my dad and his second-marriage shenanigans. There could be more siblings out there but my dad said he doesn’t count the illegitimate ones.
4. Are you close to your brother? Hmm… now we are. But I like to think it’s a work in progress. I’m sure he’ll always find ways to annoy me. I’m sure I’ll always love him because he’s my little brother.
5. What do you like to do? It’s a fair question, but it’s one of the most broad, abstract questions that’s really tough to answer during a course of dinner conversation. It’s like going on a job interview and someone asks you “Tell me about yourself.” Except for job interviews I know to keep it on topic, related to job specifically. What do I like to do in my free time? Let’s see… I like to eat, shop, exercise, drink, dance, socialize. I like to entertain. I love to host parties and bring a bunch of people together and see that have a great time. But I feel like it’s kind of difficult to express some of these things without sounding shallow. Oh, and I like to read, but by the time I get home from work, I’m usually so exhausted all I can do is watch TV and go to bed. And while I’m in bed I have my latest copy of Elle, Vogue or W that I get to read. Because honestly, I just don’t want to read anything heavy and end up having strange, nightmarish dreams. At one point I was reading  New Moon — only because I read Twilight and like to read the book before seeing the movie at some point — and started having vampire nightmares. So instead, I like to read fashion magazines. I know. This makes me look very, very deep. Anyway, how about finding things out naturally, over course of time. Do we need to cover everything on a first date?
6. What do you do? What do you want to do? Do you like what you’re doing? Here’s the deal, I like my job. I like what I do. Is this what I thought I’d be doing when I was in college? No. My job didn’t event exist when I was in college. I love politics. And at some point I wanted to get into politics. But I’ve been disenchanted with politics. I’m still heartbroken about the Democratic primaries. Hillary should have been the president. I’m still angry about it and it gets my blood boiling. This was a question that came up at my last date and got me thinking about a lot of things. I was out on a date with a guy who’s a chef.  He loves what he’s doing. He’s good at it and very successful. But is it that easy for everyone to figure out that one thing that you’re really good at and destined to do? What if you have a lot of different interests? I have wanted to be a politician. A publisher. A writer. A restauranteur. When I was in college, I wanted to be the president of NBC (that’s when NBC was a big deal). Now I’ll settle being the president of the small entertainment company where I work. I know I wasn’t destined for an ordinary life.
7. When was the last time you were in a relationship. Hmm… tough one. I think it was 2001. There was a 5-6 month long relationship in 2009 also, but  I didn’t even think that was a relationship until it was over. But when I tell a guy that the last time I was in a relationship was 8 years ago I bet they’re thinking that A) I have a fear of commitment, B) something is seriously wrong with me or C) A & B both. The reality is that LA is a very difficult place to meet a decent guy. And I can tell early on if it’s not going to work out. I don’t believe in trying to fix a guy to make it work. If I wanted a fixer upper, I’d get a house. But honestly, I have a hard time explaining why I’ve been single for so long. I can just say that I’m not scared of commitment or monogamy. If it’s a choice between being single and being in a bad relationship, I choose single.

That’s all the Q&A for now.

But seriously, I’m so over dating. I don’t want to go on any more online dates.  The idea of one more first date makes me want to barf. I’m done.