I Ran Out of Friends of Friends

It was a moment of weakness, right after the holidays. It might have had something to do with spending New Year’s Eve with the guy I’ve had a major crush on for 10 years, and his girlfriend (who actually kind of looked like me). Long story short, I ended up ringing in the new year with close friends, great neighbors, and the love of my life along with his  girlfriend. My standby date for the last few years had a date of his own this year. Shortly after, I ended up with two online dating profiles. And very shortly after, remembered how much I loathe online dating.

Here’s what I hate about this online dating thing. The profiles manage to give out a lot of information yet manage to leave out some very useful details. There is no way of knowing that the guy in his late 30s really is a 14 year old trapped in a 37 year old’s body. Not until you take the time out of your evening to meet the guy for a drink, and realize that all the vodka in the world couldn’t create chemistry.

After months of dating guys in their very early 20s, I decide to go out with a guy who’s age appropriate, only to end up with a boy. If I wanted a boy I would have gone out with the persistent 19 year old that was emailing me on Match. But even I have some standards. I need someone at least 21.


  1. Skip eHarmony. That site is for desperate Christians. You’re too smart and too interesting to date a Christian. I’m being totally serious, too! Totally. Serious.

    As for your other issues, I see an on-going flaw in your plan that I’d be happy to discuss with you over drinks and/or sushi (of the non-date variety, I guess). 🙂

  2. At this point I’ve been on Chemistry (the non-Christina version of eHarmony), Nerve, and now Match. So really, the online thing is actually pointless. But I admit, it’s getting kind of tired to be always the single one at every single dinner party. Almost every one around me has gotten coupled up and all their friends are coupled up and really there is no one in my circle left to date.

    So I suggest that PQ and Hanttulian (and Mikey in DC) to find me someone worthy. Because this online thing sucks and none of you have friends for me. And I don’t want to hear how there’s no one that’s good enough. Honestly people. I’m “this close” to pulling Samantha and dating my own gender. (Mom, if you’re reading this, don’t worry, I’m not a lesbian… yet).

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