Looking for ‘Affectionate, Ultra-Feminine, and Attractive’…

Today’s Chemistry match is a real winner. The guy is looking for “an affectionate, ultra-feminine, and attractive woman who’s in great shape and committed to staying that way.” He goes on to mention that he looks 30 years old or younger and prefers someone who looks this young as well. He’s describes himself as affectionate and encouraging type of person and goes on to say, “I love to bring out the best in a woman and to be there for her to give her all the encouragement and support she can use to be all that she longs to be.”

OH MY GOD!!! Is this guy for real? This particular profile really annoyed me. I don’t know if it was the “ultra-feminine” part or the fact that he wants a woman who’s in great shape and who’s committed to staying that way. Or maybe it was the fact that he’s ready to be the Dr. Phil that every woman is longing for… so he can turn her into all that she can be. If I wanted to be all that I can be I’d join the Army, not Chemistry. And he’s not exactly God’s gift to women, judging by his pictures.

I admit, I’m pretty picky about guys. I want the whole package… but at least I play nice on my profile. In real life, I’ve turned down guys that didn’t meet my standards. I’ve turned down guys that were 5s. I’ve made couple of exceptions for guys who were about a 6, but those did not turn out so well. Here’s the thing, when your heart gets broken by a 6, it’s just even more painful. Especially when the 6 was an exception to the rule. If I’m going to get my heart broken, I want the guy to be in the 8-10 range. And I’m committed to NOT making exceptions for guys that fall in the 6 range. I live in LA, this shouldn’t be that hard… but it seems like all the guys I meet that fall in the 7-10 range are either married, in a long-term relationship, or they swing for the other team. This Chemistry thing just isn’t working, but I was a sucker and paid for a 3 month membership and now I have to suffer through the excellent selection of choices. All this in an effort to to distract myself from thinking about Mr. 10, who meets the standards except he’s geographically undesirable. And I’m not talking about living west of La Brea.*

On a totally unrelated subject, I left work early today for some afternoon appointments in Beverly Hills. My Dr’s appt was on La Cienega and I didn’t realize that it was about 2 buildings from one of the most fabulous sushi places in LA. I was hungry and decided to grab some sushi. I sat at the sushi bar and 5 minutes later, a spice girl was sitting next to me. It was Mel B! The sushi bar was practically empty. It was me, my bag on a chair next to me, and Mel B sitting on the chair next to my bag. She looked fabulous. Great skin. I think she was with her husband. If it was her husband, I have to say he’s way hotter than Eddie Murphy. Way to go Mel! The last time I was at this particular sushi bar, Marky Mark was sitting next to me. But I never turned around to glance at his direction. My date told me after we left the restaurant that Marky Mark was sitting next to me. (When I have a sushi date, meaning the guy’s paying for sushi, he has my full attention.)**

*Traffic in LA is a nightmare, which can make or break a romance. For example, I live in Hollywood. It’s a central location. But I will not date any guy that lives in South Bay, Santa Monica, Brentwood, Westwood, etc… These are geographically undesirable locations for someone living in Hollywood. To get to any of these areas involves traffic. Whether it’s the 10, or the 405, or the surface streets of Santa Monica and Wilshire… I just don’t have the patience. So I try to keep it local. This means Hollywood, Los Feliz, Silverlake, Echo Park, Downtown, etc. And if a guy lives really far off, someplace that involves 10E or the 60E, or 5 South headed to OC… not a chance.

**I admit, I’m a total sushi-whore. The easiest way for me to say “yes” to a date is for a guy to ask a simple question…”Sushi”?


  1. I don’t understand why you’d rate yourself at all. Presumably you’re looking for someone who happens to appeal to you for whatever reason, not trying to maximize your score on some pseudo-objective scale.

  2. The rating was for descriptive purposes. And I don’t see anything wrong with rating myself, or the men. This is something men do to women all the time and I have no problem with objectifying the opposite sex for my own purpose.

  3. “This is something men do to women all the time ”

    Yeah, usually because we’re interested in women primarily as ego crutches, or as status symbols etc., basically as props in our interactions with other men and society.

    Nothing wrong with having preferences and being picky, the numeric rating just bugs me because it seems to carry the connotation of a universal objective scale. Rating someone’s appeal to you personally is one thing, but rating your own appeal in the abstract doesn’t make much sense — your appeal to who?

    Sorry, I’m probably reading too much into your post and projecting my issues onto you somewhat. I went through a long period of making myself and other people miserable by confusing what I actually found attractive with what I thought I should find attractive, or what would impress my friends.

  4. Fair enough. At the end of the day any type of scale in subjective. For example, what I think of as 10 someone else might not agree with. What’s important is chemistry, and that’s something that’s pretty hard to find. As for impressing my friends, I think at this point my friends would be more impressed if I actually dated long enough so they could actually meet the person. I’ve set the bar pretty low.

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