War of the Words… on Facebook

I’m sarcastic. I know this and my friends know this. And I know that sometimes sarcasm can get lost in cyberspace, but most of the time my sarcasm is obvious especially to my friends. Most of my friends are also sarcastic so this rarely becomes an issue.

Today, one of my good friends posted a status update on Facebook. It read something like “I’ve been stuck on the 101 for 2 1/2 hours. Live sucks.” To which I respond “Live? Do you mean life? Can’t you pay attention to spelling while driving?” Funny right? To which my friend responds “Eliza, don’t be a bitch.” Well, I have an issue with someone calling me a bitch. Sometimes this word can be used in a funny way. Sometimes it’s used to imply someone is assertive. And let’s face it, a lot of women are called bitch for having traits that are viewed as positive attributes in men — assertive, competitive, outspoken.

So being called a bitch, over a humorous comment did not sit well with me. My friend went on to post yet another status update about how her life sucks. Well, if it does, it is not because she’s stuck in traffic. This is LA. Traffic is horrible any given day. Most people get stuck in traffic. Sometimes the traffic is even worst than other days. Today seemed to have been one of those days. Two of my friends were on their way to San Francisco to LA and two hours after they left home they were still in LA… stuck in traffic.

So, because I have two other friends stuck in traffic (and one of them had made a comment about how traffic sucks), I decide to post a status update that said something like “My heart goes out to all my friends stuck in traffic. Being stuck in traffic blows. But please don’t say “life sucks” just because you’re stuck in traffic.” And my friend responds “You are out of line.” And so goes on the war of the words with no winners at the end.

Here’s the thing, her life does NOT suck. She is beautiful, smart, accomplished and happily married. She is not in a bad financial situation. She has a good life. Most people would be very happy to have her life. And most people would not say that their life sucks just because they’re stuck in traffic.

Life sucks for so many other reasons. Life is hard for a lot of people. Like the person who was telling her story on NPR about trying to find a job, and trying to keep her optimism. She was hoping that she finds a job soon so that her kids don’t have to postpone their plans for college. But even she didn’t say that her life sucks. Despite the tough setbacks.  A week ago I was at the cemetery. It was the 1-year anniversary of the death of one my brother’s friends. I watched the friend’s family grieve and try to make sense of the untimely death. I bet every day they deal with the memory of their loss and for them, part of life will suck forever. But I can’t imagine them ever thinking that life sucks because they are stuck in traffic.

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7 thoughts on “War of the Words… on Facebook

  1. huh. well, being stuck in traffic sucks. BUT i don’t think being stuck in traffic makes life suck. sure, it’s one of life’s many annoyances but i don’t think i’ve ever sat in dc’s traffic which is pretty bad and said “life sucks”. because i bet the accident with the dead bodies further up the road causing this traffic…well, i imagine their life sucks more than mine. i think your friend reacted badly to what was just an innocent joke on your part.

  2. Well, not only did my friend react badly, but she proceeded to delete me and block me from facebook! And this isn’t just a casual acquaintance, I was a bridesmaid in her wedding just last year. Who would have thought that pointing out that her life doesn’t suck [while she’s sitting in an air-conditioned, luxury SUV, and updating her status on her iPhone] but traffic does indeed suck, would have led to deletion from her life. Too bad she’ll see my face every time she opens her wedding album.

  3. this was weird. i witnessed the whole interaction on fb. i did not fb comment because i thought that there could have possibly been some “history” prior to this war of words.

    plus, i do not know who she is. at any rate, she was wayyy out of line from where i stand.

    her extreme reaction and defensive posturing to such a simple remark makes me question what is going on behind the scenes.

    it is possible that your friend could have just have had a rotten day and that facing the additionally frustrating traffic was the proverbial straw. or maybe she is going through something.

    so many possibilities . . .

    but my two cents is: if you two are truly friends, a phone call should clear the whole mess.

  4. Thanks Stephen. I kept thinking maybe something was going on with her other than traffic, but she posted twice on her FB that her life sucks in reference to traffic.

    I’ll give her some time to cool down and reflect on this incident. There was a phone conversation in the middle of the fb chaos, but she was being accusatory asking if I was trying to start a fight. I was like… are you serious? In any case, there could be more to it that she hasn’t told me but nothing that I’m aware of. Hopefully this will be cleared up sooner or later. We have too many mutual friends and I don’t want any awkward encounters.

  5. Don’t take FAcebook posts seriously — you are being hipocritical..if you are joking, why can’t your friend joke…and at the end of the day — WHO CARES?????????? Let’ focus on things that will make life better.

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