I’m sarcastic. I know this and my friends know this. And I know that sometimes sarcasm can get lost in cyberspace, but most of the time my sarcasm is obvious especially to my friends. Most of my friends are also sarcastic so this rarely becomes an issue.
Today, one of my good friends posted a status update on Facebook. It read something like “I’ve been stuck on the 101 for 2 1/2 hours. Live sucks.” To which I respond “Live? Do you mean life? Can’t you pay attention to spelling while driving?” Funny right? To which my friend responds “Eliza, don’t be a bitch.” Well, I have an issue with someone calling me a bitch. Sometimes this word can be used in a funny way. Sometimes it’s used to imply someone is assertive. And let’s face it, a lot of women are called bitch for having traits that are viewed as positive attributes in men — assertive, competitive, outspoken.
So being called a bitch, over a humorous comment did not sit well with me. My friend went on to post yet another status update about how her life sucks. Well, if it does, it is not because she’s stuck in traffic. This is LA. Traffic is horrible any given day. Most people get stuck in traffic. Sometimes the traffic is even worst than other days. Today seemed to have been one of those days. Two of my friends were on their way to San Francisco to LA and two hours after they left home they were still in LA… stuck in traffic.
So, because I have two other friends stuck in traffic (and one of them had made a comment about how traffic sucks), I decide to post a status update that said something like “My heart goes out to all my friends stuck in traffic. Being stuck in traffic blows. But please don’t say “life sucks” just because you’re stuck in traffic.” And my friend responds “You are out of line.” And so goes on the war of the words with no winners at the end.
Here’s the thing, her life does NOT suck. She is beautiful, smart, accomplished and happily married. She is not in a bad financial situation. She has a good life. Most people would be very happy to have her life. And most people would not say that their life sucks just because they’re stuck in traffic.
Life sucks for so many other reasons. Life is hard for a lot of people. Like the person who was telling her story on NPR about trying to find a job, and trying to keep her optimism. She was hoping that she finds a job soon so that her kids don’t have to postpone their plans for college. But even she didn’t say that her life sucks. Despite the tough setbacks. A week ago I was at the cemetery. It was the 1-year anniversary of the death of one my brother’s friends. I watched the friend’s family grieve and try to make sense of the untimely death. I bet every day they deal with the memory of their loss and for them, part of life will suck forever. But I can’t imagine them ever thinking that life sucks because they are stuck in traffic.