1. Where are you from? I get this the minute someone detects my slight accent — which gets a lot more noticeable the more I drink. For anyone else, this is a question about which city/state are you from. When I get asked this question it’s because they want to know which South American country I’m from. Well, I’m Armenian. From Armenia. I know you thought I’m Latina. I’m sorry to disappoint you. No I don’t speak Spanish. But I do speak Armenian, Russian and English.
2. Where is Armenia? I think I’ve covered this in a previous post. But if we have already had a prior conversation and I’ve told you that I’m Armenian, don’t ask me during the date where it is. It takes two seconds to Google it. If you know I’m Armenian and ask me where it is, you are already off on a wrong foot and the date is going downhill from there. No amount of sushi or vodka is going to salvage it.
3. Siblings? Yes. One brother – from the same set of parents. But I also have two more half siblings from my dad and his second-marriage shenanigans. There could be more siblings out there but my dad said he doesn’t count the illegitimate ones.
4. Are you close to your brother? Hmm… now we are. But I like to think it’s a work in progress. I’m sure he’ll always find ways to annoy me. I’m sure I’ll always love him because he’s my little brother.
5. What do you like to do? It’s a fair question, but it’s one of the most broad, abstract questions that’s really tough to answer during a course of dinner conversation. It’s like going on a job interview and someone asks you “Tell me about yourself.” Except for job interviews I know to keep it on topic, related to job specifically. What do I like to do in my free time? Let’s see… I like to eat, shop, exercise, drink, dance, socialize. I like to entertain. I love to host parties and bring a bunch of people together and see that have a great time. But I feel like it’s kind of difficult to express some of these things without sounding shallow. Oh, and I like to read, but by the time I get home from work, I’m usually so exhausted all I can do is watch TV and go to bed. And while I’m in bed I have my latest copy of Elle, Vogue or W that I get to read. Because honestly, I just don’t want to read anything heavy and end up having strange, nightmarish dreams. At one point I was reading  New Moon — only because I read Twilight and like to read the book before seeing the movie at some point — and started having vampire nightmares. So instead, I like to read fashion magazines. I know. This makes me look very, very deep. Anyway, how about finding things out naturally, over course of time. Do we need to cover everything on a first date?
6. What do you do? What do you want to do? Do you like what you’re doing? Here’s the deal, I like my job. I like what I do. Is this what I thought I’d be doing when I was in college? No. My job didn’t event exist when I was in college. I love politics. And at some point I wanted to get into politics. But I’ve been disenchanted with politics. I’m still heartbroken about the Democratic primaries. Hillary should have been the president. I’m still angry about it and it gets my blood boiling. This was a question that came up at my last date and got me thinking about a lot of things. I was out on a date with a guy who’s a chef.  He loves what he’s doing. He’s good at it and very successful. But is it that easy for everyone to figure out that one thing that you’re really good at and destined to do? What if you have a lot of different interests? I have wanted to be a politician. A publisher. A writer. A restauranteur. When I was in college, I wanted to be the president of NBC (that’s when NBC was a big deal). Now I’ll settle being the president of the small entertainment company where I work. I know I wasn’t destined for an ordinary life.
7. When was the last time you were in a relationship. Hmm… tough one. I think it was 2001. There was a 5-6 month long relationship in 2009 also, but  I didn’t even think that was a relationship until it was over. But when I tell a guy that the last time I was in a relationship was 8 years ago I bet they’re thinking that A) I have a fear of commitment, B) something is seriously wrong with me or C) A & B both. The reality is that LA is a very difficult place to meet a decent guy. And I can tell early on if it’s not going to work out. I don’t believe in trying to fix a guy to make it work. If I wanted a fixer upper, I’d get a house. But honestly, I have a hard time explaining why I’ve been single for so long. I can just say that I’m not scared of commitment or monogamy. If it’s a choice between being single and being in a bad relationship, I choose single.

That’s all the Q&A for now.

But seriously, I’m so over dating. I don’t want to go on any more online dates.  The idea of one more first date makes me want to barf. I’m done.

Here’s what I hate about this online dating thing. The profiles manage to give out a lot of information yet manage to leave out some very useful details. There is no way of knowing that the guy in his late 30s really is a 14 year old trapped in a 37 year old’s body. Not until you take the time out of your evening to meet the guy for a drink, and realize that all the vodka in the world couldn’t create chemistry.

After months of dating guys in their very early 20s, I decide to go out with a guy who’s age appropriate, only to end up with a boy. If I wanted a boy I would have gone out with the persistent 19 year old that was emailing me on Match. But even I have some standards. I need someone at least 21.

I wasn’t planning on watching the Globes, but it’s raining and there’s nothing better to watch.  And these are the thoughts going through my head as I watch the Golden Globes.

• Thank God it’s in Beverly Hills at the Beverly Hilton and not in Hollywood at the Kodak. If it was in Hollywood, the helicopters would be circling around the neighborhood until 3 a.m. in the morning.
• Thank God it’s raining, because that means there is low visibility and no helicopters will be flying this way (because I’m sure most of the after parties will be in Hollywood/West Hollywood area).
• Thank God for Ricky Gervais. He is one funny guy. Although a lot of people in the audience don’t get sarcasm. Or maybe they’ve had too much botox to show any expression. Could be both.
• Great speech Mo’Nique. But next time, cut God out of the speech. Do you see any white actors thanking God in their speeches? It’s all about thanking the studios, the producers, the agents, and if you’re in a happy marriage, thank your spouse. Which you did.
• Meryl Streep. I love you. You are smart, talented and oozing of class. They certainly don’t make stars like you anymore.
• Nicole Kidman, please lay off the botox. Pretty soon you won’t be able to act. Acting involves showing emotions. Botox gets in the way of emotions. Enough!
• Speaking of botox… Joan Allen, what have you done with yourself?!
• Juliana Marguilles. I love you in the Good Wife. And now I love you even more for your smart, funny speech. Especially the part where you thanked CBS for “believing in 10pm drama.” Good one! Especially when the Globes are on NBC. That took some balls. And I love women with balls.
• Drew Berrymore. Have to say, you’re very endearing. The weird mouth movement gets a little annoying but the speech was good. Although I would say Meryl Streep set the bar high. But Mo’Nique’s was good too. Very sweet about the part where she thanked her husband. You can tell she’s not getting a divorce any time soon.
• Speaking of Hollywood divorces, I’m trying to figure out who is going to get divorced next by who forgets to thank their spouse.
• David Duchovny. You didn’t win for Californication because the Hollywood Foreign Press knows that you weren’t exactly “acting.” You were just playing yourself. Maybe you’ll win next season, now that you’re trying to get treatment and reconciling with the divine Lea Teoni.
• Jennifer Aniston. Wow. That looked awkward. Presenting with Gerard Butler took some acting chops. You almost pulled it off. I must say, you looked wonderful as always. Loved the dress. It’s more risque than the usual classic silhouettes you wear. Eat your heart out Brad Pitt. Gerard, you’re one lucky dude.
• Sophia Loren. I love you. And Legally Fawn thinks I look like you. PQ has also said the same. I’m very flattered by this, but that’s not the reason why I love you. I love you because I grew up watching Italian cinema (this is what happens when you don’t grow up in US). I want to grow up to be just like you.
• Mad Men. Well deserved. John Hamm… you are a very handsome beast.
• Halle Berry. You look damn good! You are my favorite puma. When I’m 40, I plan on finding myself a gorgeous, young male model and having babies with him.
• Maggie Gyllenhaal… are you high or did you drink too much champagne on an empty stomach. It sounded like you were having a hard time reading the simple tele-prompter asking viewers to donate to Haiti.
• Kristen Bell. I love you but you need a stylist. Please let someone help you dress up for the awards season. You always wear something very safe and boring. Please stop.

Side note… I’m pretty sure that was Armenian duduk playing when they started showing clips from Martin Scorsese films.

• You can always tell how high the entertainer is on the peking order by how soon they start to cut off the speech. Would anyone at the Golden Globes dare to cut off Meryl or Marty? No! Jason Reitman? Sorry buddy, you still have to pay your dues.
• I hope Avatar doesn’t win much.
• And surprise, surprise… James Cameron wins best director. I guess he deserves something for the imagination. OK buddy, that’s all you get.
• I love when actors/entertainers say “I’m not prepared because I thought so-and-so was going to win.” Enough with the modesty crap. You wouldn’t be an entertainer if you didn’t have an unhealthy dose of narcissism. You don’t ever think the other person is going to win. That’s not in your nature.
• Glee won!!!! I love Glee. Very well deserved. If you’re not watching it, you’re missing out. Please watch.
• Lea Michelle… what the fuck are you wearing? I mean how is she going to sit with that giant dress she has on.  She could have fit the cast of Glee under her dress.
• OMFG. Is that Mike Tyson on stage at the Golden Globes? WTF?!
• First Mike Tyson now Arnold the Gropinator on stage.
• I can’t believe Arnold is my governor. I didn’t vote for him. Thank God that the writers are making him sound funny.
• Is it just me or do Mariah Carey’s boobs keep getting bigger and bigger?
• Mickey Rourke… another case of plastic surgery gone very, very bad.
• Sandra Bullock. I’ve always liked you. So I feel like I have to tell you this… your dress is see through. But nice legs!
• Robert Downey Jr. I had no idea how funny you are.
• Kate Winslet. You are luscious.
• Jeff Bridges. I had no idea you’ve been married to your wife for 33 years. I’m impressed!
• Gerard Butler. You’re a decent looking fellow but you totally score extra points on the 1-10 scale for being Scottish. Normally, you’d be about a 7. But the Scottish accent and the blue eyes give you extra 2 points. Don’t screw it up with Jennifer Aniston.
• Check out the legs on Julia. I like her jewelry. And I don’t care what she wears, I always have a soft spot for her. She’ll always be the hooker with the heart of gold and high morals… who doesn’t kiss. That’s intimate!
• I had a feeling that Hollywood would give Avatar a reward for making so much money for the industry. It’s a predictable, visually stunning film. In this town, it’s all about the looks. But the story has been told so many times before.

That’s all …

Here are my resolutions for the new year.

1. Stop flirting with guys I have no interest in. Sometimes I do this because it comes naturally. Sometimes I just can’t stop myself. Sometimes I give the false impression that I’m actually interested in the guy just because I can be a shameless flirt. Then they ask for my number. At this point I feel awkward about not giving my number because five seconds earlier I was shamelessly flirting — or maybe even making out — with the guy. Then I give my number. Then they want to go on a date. Then after a few texts/phone calls I start avoiding the person. I’m getting exhausted just typing this.The point is… stop flirting with guys that I know don’t have a chance, especially guys from the gym. That was a mistake. Now I have to deal with the puppy dog eyes staring at from the front desk and I have to come up with a good reason (fast) why I can’t go out with him that night (or any other night).Then there as the awkward conversation Friday night when I picked up the phone from a 949 area code. It went something like this:Me: “Hello”
   Him: “Hey! You picked up”
   Me: “Who is this?”
   Him: “It’s Eric. We met a while ago. You haven’t returned my phone calls.”
   Me: “It’s probably because of the 949 area code. I don’t call back 949. Was I drunk when we met?” (At this point, it’s slowly coming back to me. I think it’s someone I gave my number to a few months back at the Prince vs. Michael Jackson dance-off.)
   Him: “I don’t know if you were drunk. But we had a moment.” (Yes, he actually said we had a moment, which probably means there was massive amounts of vodka involved)
   Me: Right about now I’m starting to feel like I have way too much testasterone for a woman, and have to find a gentle way to let him know why there won’t be any more moments… so I tell him I have a boyfriend, and it’s better that we don’t stay in touch. Which means I don’t want to get any more grammatically incorrect text messages. That really bothers me.
2. No more than 4 alcoholic beverages when I go out. I tried to keep this resolution last year, but it didn’t happen. It’s tough living walking distance to the Cahuenga Corridor nightlife. That means when I go out I can just walk down to the bars. I don’t have to drive/cab anywhere, which means I can drink as much as I want. This doesn’t mean I’m an alcoholic. It just means I like my vodka now and then. Or a glass of wine. Maybe even a few glasses of wine. But consuming more than 4 alcoholic beverages led to giving my phone number out to way too many guys I wasn’t interested in. At the very least I need to memorize my Google Voice number. So far ,this year is off to a good start. I didn’t drink ridiculous amounts of alcohol on New Year’s Eve and wake up with a hangover the next day (that was so 2009).
3. Learn how to swim. I really mean it this time.
4. Learn French. I loved Paris and next time I go back I want to be able to communicate with French people in French. Being a cute girl can only get you so far. Which in my case meant lots of lovely French wine bought by French men. But maybe if I speak a little French I might even get to enjoy dinner with French men.
5. Go to bed early, get 8 hrs of sleep during the week, and wake up early to go to the gym in the mornings. This one is actually 3 resolutions in one but I really need to get more sleep. Ideally, I’d go to sleep around 9:30. Wake up at 5:30 a.m. and go to the gym. After releasing all those endorphins, I’m much nicer to people throughout the day.
6. Lose a few pounds, get toned and win my gym’s “12-week get fit” competition. This one is a little tough, but I’m motivated to get super-duper fit and win this thing. Between vanity, post-holiday weight gain and self-loathing, combined with a financial incentive and my competative nature, I have the motivation to win this thing. Did I mention that I live in LA, where size 6 is illegal? Seriously!If I lived somewhere in the middle of the country, I’d be the skinny girl on the block. Right now I’m the fat girl in the gym. I managed to gain about 5-6 lbs around the holidays. I’m very upset about this. Why can’t I be one of those actresses with super-duper-high metablism who stays fit just by walking their dog and doing yoga? Oh wait. I know why. I don’t do coke and smoke cigarettes.
7. Give online dating one last chance. Argh. I’m actually dreading this one. I really enjoy meeting people in person, in social situations. But all my friends have coupled up. All their friends are coupled up. And for some strange reason, they haven’t made any new friends for me. I have signed up for 3-month membership on an online dating site. By the time the 3-month membership is over, it’ll be spring and I’ll be a social butterfly again, getting out and meeting people in person.

Here are my accomplishments…

1. Paid off credit cards. After putting myself on a financial diet for the first 6 months of the year, I finally paid off all my credit card debt.
2. Traveled someplace new. I actually forgot about this resolution until I revisited my New Year’s Resolutions blog post from 2009 and realized that I had fulfilled this resolution by traveling to Paris, Houston and Kohler, Wisconsin!
3. Was a tiny bit more patient. I had initially put this on my list of failed resolutions, but my therapist pointed out that traveling to a foreign country, and navigating the unknown, requires a certain amount of patience. I’m sure that some people would disagree. Like my best friend who’s always running late and I’m always calling her within 5 minutes of the time of arrival to see where she’s at. I’m sure she thinks I’m still very impatient. I’ve also been very patient in my personal life. In fact, I have been patiently kissing many, many frogs in search of prince charming. So there…

Now the miserable failures…

1. Limit myself to 4 alcoholic beverages when I go out. I failed this one. Miserably. There were many nights of going out and having more than 4 alcoholic beverages. The problem is that sometimes my roommate and I would have couple of drinks at the apartment before we went out. Then we’d have a few more. Then someone would buy me a drink. And of course I don’t want to turn down a free drink. God might get mad and never send free drinks my way. So this is a resolution that I will try to keep this year. Actually, unlike last new year’s eve, this year I did not get ridiculously drunk. This year, I threw a party in my apartment and did not drink more than 4 drinks. I was a great little hostess. And was even nice to the girlfriend of a certain guy that I love. And for being so gracious, karma rewarded me in the form of a kiss from my hot neighbor at midnight!
2. Learn how to swim. Didn’t happen. Will try again this year.
3. Figure out what I want to do with my life. My therapist told me that people spend a lifetime to figure this one out. Now I feel less pressure about this one. I do know that I want to be successful, happy, healthy and wealthy. And I’d love to be the CEO of a major entertainment company. I think I’m off to a good start on this one.

On to a new year. Still finalizing the list of what I want to accomplish this year.

I had my first real breakfast in Paris. A nice big baguette, which came to my table with butter spread across, followed by ham and cheese omelet. So simple and yet so good. I just love that in Paris, butter is not on the side. It’s spread across the bread, where it’s supposed to be. Pure heaven. While I was having my breakfast, Isabelle asked one of the patrons if he spoke English. Turns out that the guy was a Lebanese lawyer in Paris, spoke English, and even a few words in Armenian. When he found out that I was in town by myself, he ever-so-kindly offered to be my lover and tour guide for a week. I nicely turned him down. Mr. Short Fatty didn’t stand a chance.

After the ridiculously good breakfast decided to take a walk. Didn’t know where I was going but somehow ended up right in front of the Pantheon, a burial place for the very famous French but only those that have made important cultural contributions to France (and the world). The likes of Jacques Rousseau, Voltaire, Victor Hugo, and my favorite… Alexander Dumas. Seeing Dumas was emotional since he’s one of my favorites and I’v read The Count of Monte Cristo in three different languages, several times.

Alexander Dumas, The Pantheon, Paris

The Pantheon, Latin Quarter, Paris

Kept walking aimlessly, still lost, and found myself standing in front of the Notre Dame.

Notre Dame de Paris

After all that walking I was getting really hungry, and passed by a little crepe stand on the street. Of course I had to try a crepe in Paris and my choice was crepe nutella just before meeting my friend Brendan’s friend Guillaume for coffee. Guillaume was very nice, and cute, and after coffee he wanted to show me the best crepe place in Paris. He’s French, and he’s lived in Paris for 11 years, so he knows everything! And he told me that I had to try crepe chocolat (French spelling). So of course I had to try crepe chocolat, even if I had just had crepe nutella about an hour before. This was already late afternoon and Guillaume told me that I might not be hungry for dinner if I ate a crepe chocolat so late in the day. He obviously didn’t know who he was talking to. So, I got my crepe chocolat, and started eating and walking down the street headed to the hotel with chocolate stains all over the face. I got bunch of “bon appetit” comments from cute French men. I think they were flirting. Or they really did just want to wish me bon appetit. In the battle of crepe chocolat vs. crepe Nutella, the winner is… crepe chocolat!

While I was walking and devouring crepe chocolat, I was trying to figure out my plans for dinner. Not an easy thing in a place like Paris. It was only my second day in the city, I was traveling alone, there are way too many choices and I had no idea where to go. But I wasn’t going to let things like my lack of French, traveling solo and no sense of direction keep me away from French food. Fortunately, there’s good food on every block and there was one right near my hotel… La Mouzak.

So with my French food vocabulary limited to foie gras and vin rouge sil vous plais, I decided to ask the waitress for a recommendation for the main course.

First course foie gras salad. A giant chunk of foie gras, with a little bit of salad on the side. I could care less about the greens. But the half a pound of foie gras was just what I needed.

Giant chunk of foie gras with a small side of salad... perfection

Then it was followed by the mystery recommendation, which turned out to be … if you guessed lamb, my favorite type of meat, then you’re right

Ridiculously good lamb dish

And for dessert, it was pears poached in red wine and side of orange flavored ice cream…

Pear poached in vin rouge

Pure heaven.

And the perfect end to a perfect day.

More to follow…

First stop was La Boulangerie, the bakery across the street from the hotel. I quickly discovered that my limited French vocabulary expanded exponentially whenever I was in a food establishment. Baguette, croissant or quiche sil vou plais. If they asked a question, I said “oui.” Then I would say “merci” and “au revoir” which made it seem like I spoke French.

With some food in the system, nowhere to go, and no sense of direction, I decided to take a walk and see where I’d end up. There’s no better place to get lost than Paris. There is not an ugly street in city and there’s a boulangerie/patisserie on every block.

So I crossed the Luxembourg garden and kept walking and looking like a complete tourist with a map in my hand until a nice French man asked if I needed helped. At least I think that’s what he asked because I don’t speak French and all I wanted to do was to get towards the Seine River so he pointed me in the right direction.

I crossed the Seine, still not knowing where I am and found myself standing in front of the Louvre entrance. Not a bad place to end up when you’re lost.

Got lost in Paris and found myself in front of the Louvre

So after getting lost all over the city, from the Louvre to St. Germain — figuring out I was lost when I circled around the block 3 times except the first two times I thought maybe there were 2 Max Mara stores in the neighborhood until it dawned on me that I was circling around the same block in St. Germain — I finally found my way to Rue Gay Lussac, after a string of many Rues (from de Bac to Bonaparte).

And at that point, after hours of walking lost in Paris, I needed some wine. I decided to make my way to a neighborhood bistro, where I ended up hanging out and talking with – Isabel, Pascal and Dominic – without speaking any French. But hey, when a guy says to me “tres jolie” I know to respond “oui” and “merci.”

More to follow…

Haven’t thought about what I’m going to do or what I’m going to see. All I think about is eating my way through Paris. Crepes. Baguettes. Lots and lots of cheese. And lots and lots of dishes with foie gras. If I see the words “foie gras” on the menu and I don’t recognize any other words in the menu, that’s what I’ll have.

So after a year of no rest, I get to take a break from it all. No deadlines. No alarm clocks. No driving in traffic in LA. No email. And no TV.

Just a week by myself, in Paris, in the company of French food and wine and maybe some French men on the side.

And now it’s back, for 13 magical days in December. The minute I found out — from following Chef Ludo and his wonderful wife Krissy on Twitter — I went online and made two reservations. When I decided to look at my calendar and see when I could snag a third reservation they were no longer taking reservation requests.

My two dates for the two reservations are Laura and Melissa, the two people who got to experience Ludo Bites with me the first time around. When Melissa found out about my reservations she decided she’s going to schedule her Christmas trip to upstate New York around my reservation so she can be my date to Ludo Bites on Monday night. And her words were “Maybe we can spend some time to catch up on Sunday, because after dinner on Monday I won’t be able to talk about anything but the food.” That’s how good the food is.

I hope that one day, Ludo Bites finds a good permanent space or a space for longer stays. But until then, I’ll get my Ludo Bites fix in December and hope it sustains me until it pops up again.

I thought after calling there would be a few days before cable would get disconnected but this is one area where Time Warner responds very fast. While I was still on the phone with the nice lady, cable got disconnected. Just like that. One minute I’m flipping channels between Food Network, HGTV and Bravo and next minute I’m staring at a blue screen of emptiness.

That’s when reality set in. Shit. It’s Saturday. I have a hangover. No motivation to go out and socialize. And now, NO CABLE!!! What am I going to do with myself? I had wanted to cancel cable for number of reasons. I thought I would go to the gym more. Read more. Socialize more. But I was wrong. The only thing I started doing was surfing the web MORE in search of watching TV shows to watch online. I watched the entire first season of Californication on Netflix, thanks to my roommate’s account, instead of going out with a young, good looking, 22 yr old. That was not a good decision.

Another bad decision was my timing. I mean the colder LA days are ahead with temperatures in the high 60s. A few more episodes to go until the season of Mad Men. And I am sitting in my living room staring at the TV that no longer broadcasts my Bravo and AMC. I called Time Warner back on Sunday to get cable again but my special deal is no longer available and I refuse to pay almost $70 for the same thing. Now it’s about the principle. And my friends are divided into the Yes and No cable camps. My BFF Laura even offered to pay for the difference but I refused. Out of principle. So now I’m watching basic channels. This is painful. More painful than the 4+ hrs spent in the dentist’s chair today getting crowns on 2 teeth. I’m going to see how much longer I can go…